OR I WILL DIE

And to justify why I deserve it, I will state that another good deed that I have done this year is strengthen the bubble tea industry.

This blog is not dead. It is merely sleeping. It is like a dormant volcano. I will blog when you least expect it. Or when I have to write out Christmas lists for er. Santa Claus. And his little elves. Because that is the beauty of technology today – one may broadcast information to hundreds of little elves with just one click. And I suppose to everyone else in the world who wishes to give me Christmas presents, or, for that matter, birthday presents, or just presents. So.

Dear Santa,

I have been a very good girl this year. I have worked (not the same as studied, mind you, because those are altogether quite different things) very hard. Right now, I am still working very hard. Instead of lazing around doing nothing like I did the last holiday, or doing silly things like going out and getting drunk, I am making full use of my holiday to make Barbie clothes, which involves painstakingly embroidering tiny little Ses around the seams. You may note that I am learning patience and perseverance through this time-consuming and at times trying exercise.

This year has been a fruitful year. I have lobbied to save my neighbourhood from noise pollution. I have taught a group of imbeciles basic social skills such as self awareness and consideration for others. Sometimes they forget – the low IQed/EQed are hard to teach, after all – but I am always ready to nudge them back into the path of social adeptness. I have also expanded the vocabularies of many a toddler, advancing them beyond their peers by about a decade.

I also have not verbally assaulted or kicked the groin of someone who deserves it. in fact, I have almost forgiven that someone. This, I feel, is worth a few hundred bonus points.

So you see, I have clearly demonstrated much generousity of spirit and community-mindedness this 2009. I am sure you will be more than happy to fill my stocking with:

- Barbie dolls that don’t look like trannies – so that the clothes I have so carefully made can be put on display

- Air-erasable pens - I HATE trying to draw out patterns with bloody chalk

- Furry socks – I have recently discovered that they are very good for locking in moisturizer when you go to sleep. I love my new furry socks and they would love the company of more furry socks, I’m sure. (If the elves are pressed for time, furry socks may be purchased at the little shop selling hats near Royal Sporting House at Taka.)

- An iPod arm strap – I forgot to mention that I am also exercising regularly now and using the treadmill. Another life organization plus!

- Elizabeth Arden Powder Brush (comes with mini brush) - because it just feels so soft

- A hitman

- Hugh Jackman

- Chanel Chance (the green one)/ Benefit B-spot/ Sephora/ Tangs vouchers

- Money.

My list is very short because I am in general quite contented with my material possessions. But I will always welcome more. So I hold out great hope that you will process my requests!

Yours sincerely,
Su Yin
Who has been a very good child.